Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A Wish For Marriage

Last March I was in Kauai, worshiping sunshine, ocean and coastlines with my husband. We did that thing where you date for 7 years, get married at the JP, have a wedding celebration the next year and go on your honeymoon the year after that. So there we were, basking in the rewards of all our efforts. All those blessings we enjoyed were gained with sweat.

In the beginning, when the immediate pheromones are wearing off, the maniacal chemistry cools and allows you to return to things like sleep and food and laundry and yourself. And this is the worst because you recognize that the other person will now see you as you are and that means you have to hide or run or surrender. I liken the ravaging burn of surrender to that of re-entry, when the space shuttle is hurtling back into the atmosphere and it absolutely has to go through this fiery quake to get back down to earth.

Ack! That’s what it was like. I was doing cartwheels in the atmosphere and now here’s the terrible fear of being seen and known and loved. I was an exposed mess, my tiny ship in flames. You know he stayed, this man. He saw me and he stayed and we learned how to swim together. All those tides in all those different oceans, we kept going. I kept shedding layers as we went. It became safe to let this person share my raft.

I imagine that any relationship takes a course like that - and care. You can’t just let it lay there, you must laugh and hug and talk and listen. Such a delicate respect. I hope there soon comes a day when everyone who has done this work can celebrate and say, “Look at us, we’ve come this far and now we’ve gotten married. We’re sharing this commitment and this promise with you all!” I hope that everyone who bravely loves can swim along the coastline hand in hand regardless of their gender. Because really, a marriage is a sacred bond we cherish and to say we cannot share that based on gender is the blinding, selfish, hate that separates.

May we all have the right to fly to space with whom we choose, to re-enter and cool and swim and cry and float with our dear loves, and then have equal rights to marry and commit in a public, legal space.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Redwood Dream

Dreaming takes down the

light curtain

bathes us with visions of pregnant earth

her life, her dreams

if we could listen in

hear her whisper in the trees

see the color in their dreams

those monolithic earth whale redwoods

go see them in your heart

when you cannot feel their leaves

or bark

or roots



she meets us there

that sacred

that vision

that rooted beauty

folds our prayers

into her soft bark

her singing leaves

her living roots


us to strength

footstep by footstep

connected in

her graceful image




all of them

these waking walking earth dreams

~abigler 2012

photo credit: kern.justin via photopin cc

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Bathed in words

She glanced within

and grinned.

Was anybody watching?

Who could care?

~abigler 2013

photo credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc

Friday, March 8, 2013


To be woman
Is the flowing strength

This caring for others
Breaks my heart
But lifts me
And my curves
And bone
Smooth pelvis

What is different
Is my voice
More like a song
Or spirit
Than a masculine gruff
Not that I can’t growl
And bare my teeth
And burn

But my soft folds
Add dimension
And my million thoughts
A certain way that contrasts
Yin from yang

To be woman
Is the pulse
And wind
Melodic mounds
Of birth

No matter if her
Children are
Her words,
Her songs,
Or beings
That she tends.

~abigler 2013

photo credit: [auro] via photopin cc